15 Things It Took Me 60 Years to Learn
Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning American author and columnist. He is also famous for his humorous quotes about things he has learned over the years.
- Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
- If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be “meetings.“
- There is a very fine line between ”hobby” and “mental illness.”
- People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
- You should not confuse your career with your life.
- Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.
- Never lick a steak knife.
- The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
- You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
- There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11.
- The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that deep down inside we all believe that we are above-average drivers.
- A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. Never fails.)
- Your friends love you anyway.
- Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
- Thought for the day: Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it’s up to women to stomp on them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.